~*~ Welcome 2 the ~*~
[[ ONLINE OFFICE ]] >> est. by Haus of Haututuu & the Cunty Cryptids Club <<
★ NOW PLACING ★ nerdy weirdos ★ professional tutu's ★ sustainable fashion baddies ★ DnD enthusiasts ★ storytellers ★ open mic performers ★ STEP OUT OF THIS AO AND INTO OURS ★ #PAUATOTECRYPTIDS ★ #KEEPTEHUMANSGUESSING ★
UNDER KONSTRUCTION!! we have been terraforming in your absence pls excuse the mess.
...OK BUT, WHAT EVEN IS THE "TEMP CRYPTID AGENCY"?a pop-up space brought to you by Haus of Haututuu and Cunty Cryptids Club. Two takataapui run toi initiatives based here in Te Whanganui-ā-Tara.
...IT'S A LIVING SPACE FOR TANGATA TO MAKE, PLAY AND REALISE. PART STUDIO, PART INSTALLATION AND FULL PORTAL, THIS THING GROWS EXTRA LIMBS EVERY TIME OUR PEOPLE ENTER IT. WORKSHOPS, PERFORMANCE, DIMENSION HOPPING...
Our soul purpose, as printed: to create and hold decolonized art spaces where creatures from our queer and BIPOC community can feel free to express their true selves in their indigenous bodies.
HOT JOBS NEW! NEW!PUBLIC PROGRAMME // OCTOBER 2026 // Te Aro, Te Whanganui-ā-Tara. Positions are temporary. Your true form is permanent.
POSITION #1 · Regional Creature Dept
Sat 3 Oct · 12pm to 4pm · FREE
Build your cryptid from the inside out. Who are they? Where do they come from? What do they want? How many kutuz do they have? ...Ditch the human logic and cook up something from your puku-manawa.
Ideal for: writers, illustrators, DnD enthusiasts & nerdy weirdos.
Supervisors: experienced kaimahi & storytellers.
Provided: the World Building for Kool Kuntz booklet + stationary.
POSITION #2 · Wardrobe & Skinsuit Services
Sun 4 Oct · 12pm to 4pm · FREE
Join us for a crafternoon and steeze up your skinsuits.
Ideal for: makers, professional tutu's & sustainable fashion baddies.
BYO: kaakahu, or pick from the Normie drobe. Bring trinkets (buttons, acorns, scales, claws).
Duties: print making, patch making, sewing.
POSITION #3 · Hospitality (Cryptid Class)
Sat 10 Oct · 4pm to 6pm
26 COURTENAY PL, TE ARO, WELLINGTON
Duties: sip. nibble. leave attitude in the foo fighter.
POSITION #4 · Performance Division
Sat 10 Oct · 6pm to 10pm
26 COURTENAY PL, TE ARO, WELLINGTON
Duties: get up. do the thing. we'd love to see your freak faces!!
Workshops are free but spaces are limited, so please register. You'll definitely want to.
>>> HOW 2 APPLY: CLICK HERE 2 SIGN UP!! (it used to say "link in bio". the link is now on the website. we are so proud of ourselfs.) <<<
STAFF OF THE MONTH Our kaimahi work hard so you dont have to wear a human skin. Pls do not feed staff human logic.
★ STAFF OF THE MONTH ★
★ FROM THE CARD DECK ★
★ WARDROBE DEPT ★
★ ??? YOUR NAME HERE ??? ★
>> apply 4 temporary placement << (bring a cryptid-sona. a drawing counts. a photo of u in costume counts.)
TO INTERACT WITH THE SPACE, HUMAN SKINS ARE FORBIDDEN.
PLEASE WEAR AN ITEM OF CLOTHING FROM THE ONSITE COMMUNITY WARDROBE TO ENTER INTO THE CRYPTID WORLD - OR BETTER YET BRING YOUR OWN!
THIS SPACE IS DEDICATED TO OUR TAKATAAPUI CREATURES SO THE SAFTEY OF OUR QUEER TANGATA WILL BE PRIORITISED ABOVE ALL ELSE.
From the Temp Cryptid Agency, quoted as printed.
A pocket dimension for takataapui youth that was entered via portal (a skux front-door re-vamp). It ran in 2024 and is closed now. This is the archive copy.
THIS AMBIENT, INTERACTIIVE LOW-STIMULATION SPACE WILL BE ACCESSIBLE VIA PORTAL AND WILL TAKE YOU ON THE ADVENTURE YOU'VE DEFINITELY ONLY DREAMED OF HAVING.
Whatua he Whiringa Takataapui: a queer whatu raranga exhibition.
It ran in Kirikiriroa earlier in 2026 and it is over now. This is the archive copy, so pls dont turn up at the gallery.
poster via @cryptids_club
Pages from the Koncept Kyber Kaves sketchbook: moss, coral, tendrils and the fungal kave fauna. They are habitat, not staff. Pls do not try to hire them, their very busy growing.
Art from the Koncept Kyber Kaves sketchbook (artist credit pending).
MEMO 2 ALL STAFF: THE WEIRDO'S HAVE OFFICALLY ENTERED THE CHAT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT'S CRAFT TIME
For kaimahi on their break. Four games in the arcade. insert 1 koin (it is free. the koin slot is decorative).
>> ENTER THE ARCADE: every game, big buttons, works on ur phone <<
He taonga te moemoeaa
A dreamed island with exact coordinates no map will admit to, and two friends who have to decide whether to believe. A waka unua voyage, a base that should not exist, and Waitii of Matariki waiting to be given back her song.
A tiny beach of giving.
Wander a small shore, pick things up and decide what's worth giving away. A trinket maker trades back rarer finds and stranger friends. Normie Drobe regulars will feel right at home.
A slime mold that eats the light.
Point the camera at urself and the mold finds you, or switch to Dither and get printed live in a few inks. Camera stays off until u say so and nothing leaves the tab.
Learn the language of the birds.
Five levels of listening: tell a tuuii from a korimako by ear, name the syllables, guess what the tuuii sings next and build a phrase it would actually say. Required training for anyone placed in the forest dept.
HI-SCORE: MOTH ........ 999999 (nobody has beaten the moth)
WE KNOW KARE - YOU'VE BEEN VOYAGING DEEP SPACE FOR TOO LONG NOW. ... THE WEIRD AND THE WONDERFUL ARE AMOUNG US. ASTRONESIAN FUTURISIMS RUN DEEP IN OUR VEINS. BE HOHA NO LONGER.
TIME TO YANK THE HUMAN GUISE AND RETURN TO YOUR TRUE FORM. YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR IWI. THE CREATURES OF THE CRYPTIDS CLUB WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS.
★ pinned by webmaster ★
first!!!! also second, third and fourth (I have four eyes, I read everything four times)
hi i left my human guise in the foo fighter. is it lost property or is it urs now
>> webmaster: we know kare. it's ours now. welcome 2 the agency
pls bring back the buttons u borrowed. and the acorns. and the claws
Once upon a pop-up, the crew threw Fine Dining For Freaks: a safe territory for different inter-galactic species to meet and get good food.
There were candles There was moss on the table. There was flash boil up There was, as the crew put it, a bunch of whreaks
.
If u locked eyes with someone across the candles and never got there name…
>> post it in the MISSED CONNECTIONS << (or read the ones already up)
NEW! BREAKING: a galactic nokia was found fossilised in the road. artefact of a dead civilisation. we think it fell out of someones pocket on the way home from FDFF, which explains why nobody swapped numbers. see the lost + found
~ follow the creatures ~
IG @cryptids_club IG @haus_of_haututu IG @c.nty_cryptids_club_archive SIGN UP!!
our partner haus.
logo via @haus_of_haututu
Netscape NOW! Astronesian FUTURISIMS takataapui RUN free workshops #PAUATOTECRYPTIDS human guise OFF
~ ur catalog finds ~ (some things on this page are hiding. click around.)